Three months ago, Marcus Herrera rode a Greyhound bus from his home in California to join the small community at A Sacred Place in Canaan. The following is an edited interview.

I tell people very rarely, but I remember being born and being angry. It felt like I was parading around, tripped and fell into this life, like, "Damn, I took a wrong turn at Albuquerque, " or something.

I was born with an umbilical cord wrapped around my neck as if maybe I was trying to get out early. And somewhere there was a voice saying, "This is not going to be easy."

Growing up, I was forced to be a Jehovah's Witness, and it twisted me. There were all these rules, and everyone was always saying, "Believe this, don't do that." It was "no" all the time. My mom was always like, "The world is out to get you and the awful-awfuls are going to happen and you're going to die."

You finally reach a point where you have to confront that and say, "Is this something I want to give my energy to? Am I giving energy to the fear and the monsters? Or am I giving energy to love?"

One day, when I was 17, I gave up worldly possessions. I knew there was something about clinging to materialism that was getting to me, that possessions were going to make me insane in the long run. I just gave up and allowed myself to go with the flow. I said, I don't know life but I want to learn. Like Dr. Seuss says, "You should never, never doubt what no one is sure about."

Doing the firewalk, I just knew it wasn't going to hurt. The first step was like, "Oh, I'm stepping on hot coals," then all of a sudden the drumming and the singing and everybody around me just wasn't there. Everything fell away, and the stars opened up over me. It was complete involvement in the here and now.

I stood on those coals and I thought, "What should I do? What's my personal legend in this life?" And the thought just popped, "Spread peace and perform miracles one day, like Jesus."

Now you're saying, "You must be smoking that wacky tobaccy if you believe that." But I wouldn't be saying it if it wasn't the truth to me. That's all Jesus was trying to say to his disciples, "You can do what I can do, if not better. You just have to really, really believe." They say Jesus was the first Hippie; I like that. Peace and love, that's what it's all about.

Now that I've done it, I see everything that has held me back has been myself, and I have no one to blame. All my life it's been me stopping myself from doing the impossible.

I read it on my tea bag, "Every heartbeat is a miracle and every moment is a chance to change it all around." You grow up hearing "no" all around you. Then you stand in front of that fire and you have a choice, "Do I say no or do I say yes?" I said yes.